An Introspection Into Continued Holiness

"These, then, are the two points I wanted to make. First, that human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to behave in a certain way, and cannot really get rid of it. Secondly, that they do not in fact behave in that way. They know the Law of Nature; they break it. These two facts are the foundation of all clear thinking about ourselves and the universe we live in." - C.S. Lewis

It continually amazes me that many people will read a quote such as this one and almost immediately disregard it without taking a look into the richness of it's depth.

The past few days, I've been hard at work. I actually nearly quit my job today because some of my fellow employees have made a habit of making things... difficult (for a lack of a better word)... for me as of late because they either believe I don't know what I'm doing, don't do it their way or just to mess with me. And sadly, this isnt the only area of my life that's been affected in this way lately.

I've noticed that another one of C.S. Lewis' quotes has been reigning as truth in my life; especially as of late. The quote is as follows: "The full acting out of the self's surrender to God therefore demands pain: this action, to be perfect, must be done from the pure will to obey, in the absence, or in the teeth, of inclination." It all started about a month ago when (for reasons unneeded of exposure) I broke up with a girl that I had been dating for nearly a month. This was mostly due to myself beginning to understand that I was taking on the persona of a side of me that I thought I had killed in late 2006. Apparently, it decided to come back again, I allowed it to control me and thus began to be fueled by my desires for self-indulgence.

Upon realizing this, I immediately knew that the time had come for me to kill this side of me and make sure it didn't resurrect from the past again. Since this time, I've regained self-control, grown in holiness and have tried to set myself apart from the things that continually bring me down. This however has not come without difficulties.

I've broken off many relationships as of late. People I used to call friends (I've come to realize) haven't treated me with the same respect deserved of that title. It's for this reason (many others due abound however) that any little irksome thing has caused me to basically write a note of farewell to that person. On the brighter side, I've cultivated the few friendships I wish to remain. The cultivation of where thorns and thistles once laid, due to my personal lack of watering the vine of friendship, has delivered many wonderfully new scents of surprises. Also, I've formed new friendships set upon the foundation of the only thing that matters. Many of you know of the foundation of which I speak; that being upon the One of Love with Truth, Justice and Mercy at His side.

Nevertheless, I've been thinking... have I been doing something wrong; something that needs to be worked upon; something that has brought about a cause for concern in others regarding either talking with and/or pursuing a friendship with me? After all, Jesus did on many occasions speak of judging your inner-self to be sure you're not guilty of the same thing before judging others on the subject...

(Side note: people take use the verse Matthew 7:1 as saying Jesus said not to judge. Here's the entire passage and I bolded the part that defeats this argument within the text: "Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.)

... So what have I been doing to offend others (if anything) and what do I need to work on before I judge others on the subject? The only thing that comes to mind is the tone in which I say the things I do. While speaking with someone I've grown to admire qualities in quite a bit, it was pointed out to me that my definitions aren't always clear. (Thanks Britty) How then should I rectify this? Simple. Clearly define what I'm saying. Other than this, I cannot think of anything else that needs to be worked upon.

In closing, I'd like to take this blog full circle by reiterating what C.S. Lewis stated in my opening: "These, then, are the two points I wanted to make. First, that human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea that they ought to behave in a certain way, and cannot really get rid of it. Secondly, that they do not in fact behave in that way. They know the Law of Nature; they break it. These two facts are the foundation of all clear thinking about ourselves and the universe we live in." The question I pose to contemplate is simply this: when was your last objective introspection and have you been growing in holiness (defined as "being set apart from") since? If not, why is that? Could you be so consumed by your own self-desires that you have forgotten that the word self-control even exists. Do you even care about working on bettering yourself? Finally, if so, why do you care?

"If you look for truth, you may find comfort in the end; if you look for comfort you will not get either comfort or truth only soft soap and wishful thinking to begin, and in the end, despair." - C.S Lewis